The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
