So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
