So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
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Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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