Please, let me fuck your mom
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
