epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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