she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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