O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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