I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
