so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
