is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Are we still banned from the library?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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