um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
