lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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