ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
