woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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