I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
