So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
