We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
