Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
