I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
