you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
