I faked an abortion last night.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Shame is for Republicans.
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