what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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