i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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