I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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