how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize