the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
