And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize