Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
