come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
