Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
