I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize