she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize