marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sober January is a disaster.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
