I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
