DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
