I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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