There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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