I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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