so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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