Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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