after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
