my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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