why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
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i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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