okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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