She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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