I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize