cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize