Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
