escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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