I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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