it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
