The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
