oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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