got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
