operation harelip BJ is a go
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
