How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
