I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
