I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
