Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize