isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
