I smell stomach acid.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
