you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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