But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
