In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
