I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i now understand why vodka
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
