Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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