Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
