as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
