Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
