Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?