She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.