This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
