come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
