my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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