i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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