Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
