I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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